I haven’t really written much wedding related since announcing my engagement more than a half a year ago (seriously, how does time go so fast?). But I’m excited to talk a bit more about my wedding as it is less than 5 month away : )
One of the things I was most nervous about was dress shopping. I love all wedding related shows and of course watch Say Yes to the Dress more than I’d like to admit (J immediately leaves the room when it comes on). My mom and I have been watching it for years, always critiquing the dresses, pointing out what we do and don’t like (I mean what on EARTH is with brides wanting those horrendous mesh totally see-through corset things?). My mom would always occasionally say, “Oh I hope your dress is like that” and I pretty much always agreed with her. I’ve pretty much known exactly what I wanted my dress to look like for quite some time and had a lot of fun going through bridal magazines, pulling out the pages of the dresses I loved, but the thought of actually going and trying them on totally freaked me out on so many levels.
Here’s the thing…I’ve grown so much in my ability to accept and appreciate my body but I still have plenty of issues with body image. I had a therapist tell me years ago, when I was originally formally diagnosed with BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) that I would probably always struggle with body dysmorphia to one extent or another, and I’ve learned over the years that while this is very true, I can take control of it. I do not let it affect my life the way it used to and even when I’m not super confident in myself, I am able to get past it and avoid situations that I know will trigger it. And that’s where it gets tricky…
See…trying on numerous, rather body hugging (I mean even the pouffiest poofiest ball gowns have rather fitted bodices) dresses, surrounded by mirrors showing off every angle of my body, and standing in front of people, being the center of attention…that scenario freaked me out. Big time. But everyone assured me it would be nothing but a positive experience, to only take people I was 100% comfortable with, and just relax and enjoy. So I did.
We set an appointment for early January and I continued to collect my pictures of dresses I liked. One night, while showing my mom and aunt some of the pictures I had saved, and my aunt pointed out a dress online she insisted I try on. I looked at the dress and really like it, but wasn’t totally sure. I like it enough to want to try it on so I called the salon where we had our appointment and asked if they had the dress for me to try on. They sadly didn’t carry that designer and the lady on the phone kept trying to talk me out of trying on that dress and why I would like a different designer she carried so much better. I didn’t like that…I have a hard time saying no and am a total people pleaser. I knew if I felt that uncomfortable on the phone, that if I went to the store, I very easily could have ended up with a dress I didn’t love, just because she seemed to convincing.
So we called around and I found another salon that did carry the dress. I did some research and found nothing but positive reviews about the place so we made a new appointment and before I knew it, I was walking into Betsy Robinson Bridal with my entourage, and my stomach in my throat. I know many people advise you not to bring many people along. I fully support this idea, if you aren’t 100% confident in the people you are bringing. I only brought people who I knew would be nothing but wonderfully supportive yet honest. I brought people who know me and my style and would help me verbalize my ideas and thoughts. That ended up being my mom, my aunt, my goddaughter, Peanut, my godson, Bug (his sister and mom were there so therefore he had to be there…he was actually wonderfully behaved and they had a candy bar set up in the salon that day…he was sold), my grandmother, J’s mom, and my MOH.
It was really beautiful inside and the staff were so sweet.
I told her the style # of dress I definitely wanted to try and then a little bit about what I did and didn’t like in dresses. I barely had to say anything because before I knew it she had at least 5 dresses in very similar styles to what I wanted. I took a deep breath, and put on the first dress (the one I had called about). Darn those things are heavy! And walked out to the pedestal to show everyone.
Let me just say that seeing yourself in a bridal gown (whether you like the actual dress or not), is overwhelming. I mean it is overwhelming in a good way, but all the sudden things get really real. After that moment of shock wore off things got much easier. I was getting more comfortable with it all and was actually having fun.
I loved the dress. Absolutely adored it. Seriously, it was everything I wanted and more. I liked the way it looked on me and just loved everything about it. So did my crew. I kinda knew in my heart this was it but I mean you can’t just take the first dress right? So I went back and tried on some more. Honestly, there were many dresses I would have been perfectly happy with but none of them quite held up to my first dress. I put it back on and there was no question…it was MY dress!
Not totally sure how it happened, but next thing I knew, I had a veil, earrings, and bracelet on. I was staring at myself as a bride…and for a moment I didn’t think at all about how certain bodily flaws looked…I just felt…happy. It was emotional. My mom, aunt, and J’s mom teared up. I was fighting it…but then when my little Bug looked up from his IPad game and said, “Katye, you look gorgeous!” I melted and that was it. Done. Sold. Just tell us where to sign.
I didn’t want to take it off…but I did because my little Peanut needed to pick out her flower girl dress. She took this task incredibly seriously. I gave her total free reign on this and after trying a couple of things, she had her dressed picked out. Honestly, I LOVED it! It fit so well with my dress! The jewelry designer who was having a show in store showed her some “Big Girl” jewelry and she was loving every minute up on that pedestal. Ultimately, the designer (Thomas Knoell) ended up making her matching jewelry to mine (only mine has champagne stones where hers has sapphire blue).
My grandmom also found her dress (I’m the first of her grandkids to get married and she used to work in bridal…she was having a blast with it all!). So we filled out all the papers, and they told me it would be in, in about 6 months.
Time flew because on Monday they called to tell me it was in. Although I won’t do my first fitting until August, they said I could come in and see it again. Peanut of course overheard the convo and asked if she could come try on her dress too. So yesterday Peanut, my mom and I headed back to Betsy Robinson. I got to try on MY dress! It was as perfect as I remembered it (actually even better because now it was in the color I wanted).
So without further ado, the dress…
Yeah sorry, won’t be showing the dress until 11/23/13 : )
And Peanut’s dress?
She’s also taking this dress thing very seriously and would kill me if I showed anyone. Anytime any asks her about her dress she responds “Don’t you know you aren’t supposed to ask a girl about her wedding dress!”. What can I say, she’s precious. But you can see her super cute jewelry in the picture. And no, her dress is not strapless as it appears in this picture.
So that ends the saga of the dress. Yep, I ended up with the very first dress I tried on. And I’m obsessed. Fear conquered, at least until I have to walk down that aisle in front of all those people…